Top ten things I never thought I would say

One year old addition.  Although these aren't in any specific order.

1)  Kai stop licking the__________________.  This blank could be filled with anything from dog, to floor, to window, to my leg.

2)  Please stop grabbing your junk.  You are getting poop everywhere.

3)  Did you just make your cows bite me in the butt and moo at me?

4)  Please stop riding the puppy.

5)  Quit being a beaver and eating your crib.

6)  We do not eat the paint off the window sill.

7)  Stop eating ______________.  You can also fill this blank in with a wide array of things such as dirt, the dogs hair, rocks, sticks, Cheerios that he found under the couch.

8)  You may not play with knives.  Kai learned how to open the dishwasher and was intent on getting the most dangerous things out of it.

9)  You are really asking to be an only child son.

And finally, 10)  We do not hit momma, the dog, kick things, etc.  You know, because my child was going to be a perfectly behaved child.

So what are things you guys say that you never thought you would find yourself saying before having kids?

This post is part of the Top Ten Tuesday over at Many Little Blessings blog.