Kai didn't latch on at first so for me breastfeeding was a dreaded thing. I would try and try to get him to latch and usually end up failing and having to pump. This was okay the days I had people staying with me to help as I would pump while they fed Destructo. But this wasn't quite the new mom bonding with her infant while she nurses him that I had expected. I was usually sitting on the couch by myself while trying to stay awake. Days when no one was there to help really sucked as I would have to feed him his bottle, get him back to sleep, and then pump. Well when your child eats every 2-3 hours, you don't want to lose those precious 30 minutes of sleep pumping.
There was lots of stress that I wasn't producing enough milk to keep up with Destructo's demand. He always took far more in a bottle since it was much easier to get the milk that way than nursing. I power pumped which is when you pump 20 minutes on, 20 minutes off for an hour. It can stimulate milk supply as it simulates a cluster feeding. The stress was awful. I can't tell you how many times I would count the ounces in the fridge and worry that I wouldn't have enough. I can tell you this was a huge waste of time. Except for the two weeks after I had mastitis, I always had enough milk.
But even once things were going better in the latching department, it was still stressful. I didn't really realize that a breastfed baby would sometimes nurse for an hour and then be hungry 30 minutes later. I could have just truly fed on demand and not listened to as much fussing as I did. I always thought something was wrong and he had a belly ache for the first couple weeks when in reality it was most likely growth spurts. (See here for a good article about growth spurts from kellymom.) Luckily a few weeks in I really learned what feeding on demand is and it was much easier after that. I know next time that when baby acts hungry, feed them and then feed them again and again and again if need be. Cluster feedings are how the baby helps your body regulate your milk supply. Here is an article from kellymom about cluster feeding.
With that said, I also didn't realize that a newborn breastfed baby literally eats about every two hours and that is from the start of the feeding. They are also really slow nursers so you sometimes only have an hour or less in between nursing sessions. My best advice for this is to DVR lots of TV shows you want to watch. I watched so much TV while I nursed Destructo on the couch. It is the perfect opportunity to catch up on all those shows you don't have time to watch anymore.
If breastfeeding is super painful, you want to call a lactation consultant ASAP. My LC was worth her weight in gold. She was able to do weighed feedings to make sure Kai was getting enough, evaluate his latch and give helpful advice to correct it, and help with supply issues. I met with her three times after I left the hospital and called her regularly. Some of her best advice to me was to make sure both his lips are out and not curled under. This was a big problem we had. I would just lightly pull his lip out and it was immediate relief when it was painful while he was nursing. She also showed me different positions to hold Destructo in to get better latches. I had a lot of luck with the football hold with Destructo under my arm with my hand supporting his head when he was little. Here is an article from Babycenter about the different breastfeeding holds you can use that is very informative.
Another thing that was helpful advice was the switch feeding advice. Destructo got used to bottles when I had to supplement with them due to his weight loss/ refusal to latch issues in the first two weeks of his life. He got used to a faster flow (even while using a slow flow nipple on the bottles.) Switch feeding is where you constantly switch breasts to let him continue to get a fast flow. This isn't necessarily something you need to do as sometimes this can cause slow weight gain as they don't get as much hind milk which is the fattier milk, but in Destructo's case it was the only way he wouldn't refuse the breast.
Learning to nurse while laying down is invaluable. I would lay on the couch or in the bed with Destructo and while I was never comfortable enough to fall asleep, I could at least rest. And rest is oh so important in those early days. In fact, I was so proud that I made my mom who was staying with me come see what I had figured out. Ahh memories.
In the early weeks, I was so hungry and so thirsty. It really helped if I tried to eat a small snack like a cheese stick or a handful of almonds each time the baby nursed. Momma needs good nutrition to be a milk cow and it is hard to find the time to sit down for those super nutritious meals with a newborn. I used to enlist my husband to get me water and snacks if I forgot to grab something before I sat down.
If you are worried that your child isn't getting enough milk, calm down. I was so worried that Kai wasn't getting enough that I eventually bought a scale. (See this post for info on my favorite things breastfeeding related.) But honestly, I shouldn't have been as concerned as I was. He always had plenty of wet and poopie diapers and was gaining weight even though he was never a good weight gainer (and still isn't.) This is a great article once again from kellymom about nursing in the first few weeks.
Finally let's talk about the pain. Breastfeeding hurts in the early days. Anyone who says it doesn't either was very lucky or doesn't remember. Even I sometimes forget since it is so super easy and pretty much painless (except when my period is due ouch.) Lanolin can help, but a tip from my LC was to use olive oil. This helped a lot as well.
But if the pain feels like your baby has little bitty razor teeth, it could be thrush. I had thrush and it took two weeks on diflucan to get rid of it, but when it finally went away so too did the pain. If you feel that it is more painful than just normal your nipples need to get used to a little Hoover nursing, seek advice from your OB or LC. I am so glad I did because it really made all the difference. I stopped dreading nursing the baby and started truly looking forward to the bonding time.
If you are reading this and are in those first six weeks of nursing, know that you are doing a great job. Each day that you get through is one day closer to breastfeeding being able to be done on auto pilot. You can content yourself knowing that you truly are doing what is best for you baby and one day you will look back on this time and laugh when you realize how far you have really come. And if you are an old pro reading this, good for you for sticking it out and hitting your goals for breastfeeding whatever they were. I will always look back fondly on my days of breastfeeding Captain Destructo. It is a nice feeling to know you are providing nourishment tailored exactly for your baby, comfort, and bonding all at one time.
This face made it all worth it in the end! |
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Titus 2say
I can totally sympathize with you. We had our little one at home with midwives and without them I would have probably given up breastfeeding. You imagine your baby just becoming like a fish and latching easily. Luckily our midwives coached me through at least 8 hours to make sure our girl was latching correctly. What I learned was invaluable and the support I had made such a difference. She weighed 7 15 when she was born and by 6 weeks she was 11. Yahoo! The first two weeks we rewatched the whole series of LOST again. Netflix was my best friend during breastfeeding, well I guess it still is!
ReplyDeleteThanks
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Wow you had an awesome gainer. I wish Kai had gained like that. I wouldn't have worried so much. He was not quite 14 lbs at 6 months. I watched a ton of Grey's Anatomy, Switched at Birth, and Private Practice reruns.
DeleteI'm one of those moms who have never really had a problem breastfeeding. A few clogged milk ducts and a mastisis with the second. I did have a little latch problem in the hospital with the second baby, but like you mentioned in your post, flipping their lips out helped with the latch. I am still going strong at 9 months feeding number 2. I fed number 1 for a year and completely dispelled the myth that small breasted women are unable to breastfeed. Ha ha!! Sorry, I'll never forget my mother in law's insult to me that I shouldn't get my hopes up to breastfeed because I simply don't have the "breastage" to do so, Ignorance. Anyway, I am a new follower from the hop and I wanted to say hi and tell you that you are doing an amazing job breastfeeding! :) Keep it up! Sometimes we make things harder than they really are and that hindsight is great especially when it comes to blogging about it.
ReplyDeleteOhh I thought you were going to say no mastitis. Pretty much everyone I know has had mastitis at least once. I know so much more about breastfeeding for when number two comes along. I hope it is an easier journey just because I am not a newbie at it. Thanks for following me!
DeleteBreast feeding was not good for me, and I never did produce more than an ounce at a pumping time, and the twins were preemie and so tiny they could only try to feed at the breast 1 a day because the calorie output was too much. I saw consultant, took fenugreek, pumped religiously. Sadly I just couldn't do it long and I never produced enough for 1 baby let alone 2. It was a really bad time for me. I remember crying the day I decided to stop pumping, but I needed to because I was driving myself crazy.
ReplyDeleteAnd how did I not know about power pumping? I wish I would have tried that!
Thanks for sharing
Yay for you for trying as hard as you did. Power pumping helped me up my supply a lot before the mastitis and then after it helped again. But even though breastfeeding didn't work out for you, you made the right choice to stop because I truly believe happy baby, happy mommy. Plus looking back you can say you tried your hardest and that is all that really matters anyways.
DeleteHi, i am a new follower stoppin by to say congrats on being the featured blogger on the hop this week!! :) Hope you are having a fantastic week so far and looking forward to a beautiful weekend with your little ones!!
ReplyDeleteHuh I didn't even realize I was the featured blogger. LOL I have been busy today and hadn't managed to go link up there yet. Thanks for telling me, although the utter confusion was funny too for a few moments.
DeleteWhat an adorable face! I had a tough time in the beginning too, due to painful thrush that would not go away. But we got past it too, luckily. :)
ReplyDeleteThrush is the worst. I ended up having to take Diflucan for two straight weeks to get rid of it. Yay for both of us getting past the yeastie beastie!
DeleteI remember my first baby had the hardest time learning how to breastfeed, and his Mother was clueless on it, she'd had very limited exposure to babies all through her life, so I think there was a lot of fear from her. The big surprise is, like you mentioned, they get hungry a lot!
ReplyDeleteI was clueless. I look forward to not being clueless the second time around. Breastfeeding just was not something any of my friends or family did (at least when I was old enough to pay attention.)
DeleteI'm four months into breastfeeding and it's still a long hard slog. I have lanolin on autodelivery from Amazon. Hands down it is my least favorite part of parenting, but when I look down and see his sweet little face while he's nursing (that is when he's not violently eating) I can't imagine starting to taper off in a few months. It's so bittersweet.
ReplyDeleteTry olive oil. It is cheaper than Lanolin and really works. Bittersweet really describes how I felt about it too since it was so hard the first fee months. Good for you for sticking with it! I hope it gets much easier very soon.
Deletethat's a wonderful informative post! I completely failed in breastfeeding my older one; only 3 months. With my second one, I was wiser, but it still lasted only 6 months! :S
ReplyDeleteYou didn't completely fail. Any breastfeeding is better than none. 3 and 6 months is awesome! Two thumbs up for even trying to breastfeed.
DeleteThis is an excellent post!!! I'm a Certified Breastfeeding Counselor and Labor Doula as well as a nursing mom and these kinds of things are what moms need to be reading!!! I love seeing things like this that newer moms can take and really dig into and know they aren't alone in a time that can feel so isolating! Great job!!
ReplyDeleteNew follower from Mom's Monday Musings!
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That is why I try to write so many breastfeeding posts. I needed to read success stories that showed how hard it was in the beginning when I was in the thick of the pain and sleeplessness. I would love to be a lactation consultant one day.
DeleteThose first weeks are the most difficult, aren't they? Thankfully my baby & I were able to adjust to successful and painless nursing within a few days of birth, but I know that my experience is definitely not the norm. So glad to hear that you stuck it out despite the difficulties and stress. Your baby's all the healthier for your determination, Melissa. Thanks for this helpful post. All the links you include will be a major aid to new mamas!
ReplyDeleteThat is what I am hoping for. Just to help some new moms out and give them hope that it does get much much easier.
DeleteI was one of the lucky ones without pain, but I know how lucky I was because of that. I too worried a lot about having enough milk with my daughter at first. Now, even though my son is a chunk, I still get my in laws questioning if he gets enough to eat b/c his cousin, who is 3 months younger is bigger than my baby boy.
ReplyDeleteI can't imagine only feeding on a schedule! My babies were always wanting to eat. my daughter would eat practically every hour!
Congratulations on making it through!
ReplyDeleteThanks! It is one of the the things in my life that I am most proud of.
DeleteI love breastfeeding, which is one reason that my almost 18 month old is still nursing. (Clearly she loves breastfeeding too.) I feel lucky that I never had any problems, not even from the beginning. Good for you for sticking to it!
ReplyDeleteThanks! I am so glad I stuck with it as long as I did.
DeleteThankfully a friend was very honest with me before my baby was born and I knew that it would be painful. She also told me that the pain wouldn't last more than a week which was the only thing that got me to stick with it--knowing that the pain would end soon. I'm so glad I did because it eventually became much easier and was such a wonderful experience for me and my son.
ReplyDeleteIt was so easy by the end. I am glad I know more what to expect the second time around.
DeleteMany years ago when my daughter was a baby, she just couldn't get enough milk from me. We had to supplement with formula because she was dehydrated and dropping weight. I wish I had known more about it at the time!
ReplyDeleteYou live and learn. Isn't that the way life always goes? Hind sight is 20/20 and all that. Good for you for trying your best!
DeleteThis is some awesome advice =] I had a lot of trouble with my first (our daughter) in the latching department and ended up switching to formula after a month of pumping; but with our son, I was determined to stick with it; it hurt like crazy at first, but after the first week or so, each day got significantly better. And now I have a 12 lb 2 1/2 month old, and I'm happy to say that I LOVE breastfeeding! =]
ReplyDeleteThis post has great power to validate and empower moms, Melissa!
ReplyDeleteYep I really hope new moms find this if they are struggling and need a boost.
DeleteThank you so much for this post! I am pregnant with my first baby. I'm hoping I don't have this much difficulty, but if I do, I know there are places I can turn to for help!
ReplyDelete