Ten Humorous Ways to Stop a Temper Tantrum

You probably shouldn't take all of these seriously.  Just thought I would throw that out there.  But to go with yesterday's temper tantrum post, I thought I would share my temper tantrum stoppers.

1)  Throw a bucket of cold water on the child.  I mean you see this in movies with drunk people or people that are in a bar fight.  Surely it would work on an unruly toddler.

2)  When your child is hitting their head into the wall, ignore it until they eventually knock their self unconscious.  Ahhh peace and quiet.

3)  Bribe the child with gummy bears.  Okay I will admit I do occasionally actually use this one.  One gummy bear has many wonderful qualities.  Destructo will lay still for a diaper change or let me easily put his shoes on.  But I have been using those fruit leather strips cut into pieces so at least it is made from actual fruit?


 4)  Throw yourself down on the floor and scream and kick.  This will distract your child enough that they will end their tantrum all by themselves.

5)  Buy a baby sized straight jacket.

6)  Wear ear plugs and close your eyes.  If you can't hear or see it, the tantrum must not be happening.  Right?

7)  Put the child out back until they calm down.  I mean this works for the dog.   Shouldn't it work for Destructo?  (I kid, I kid.  I don't put my child out back when he is acting up.  I just fantasize about how easier life would be if kids were like pets and you could just put them outside in your fenced in back yard when they were not behaving.)

8)  Buy your child a punching bag and let him take his aggressions out on it.  Okay this could be the most serious piece of advice in this post.  I plan on doing just that.  Plus added bonus maybe Destructo will become the next MMA star?

9)  Dog crate.  Need I say more.  When you have a young puppy, you crate them if they are chewing up shoes or destroying furniture until they learn to act right.  I am sure this would work with a kid?  Can you see the animal science major in me coming out in these faux suggestions?


10)  Feed your child Thanksgiving turkey with every single meal.  Tryptophan is a natural sedative.  That is why you feel so sleepy after you eat your giant Thanksgiving dinner.  So a small dose of tryptophan three times a day might make your child more even keeled.

Okay so obviously none of these suggestions is really a valid way to stop a temper tantrum.  But hey at least you hopefully got a laugh out of them.  Because as I have said a million times, you can either laugh or cry and currently I am choosing to laugh.

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